Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Normally, I try to refrain from posting unless I have something good to share - something funny that happened, something uplifting that I'm learning. But, I've been feeling less than amused or uplifted for a while. Maybe it's the time of year; I definitely struggle when I'm not getting quality time with the hubby, and get to feeling restless waiting for the warm days of spring. Maybe it's just that I was really enjoying feeling a bit of peace for a while and God decided to rip me a new one to shake things up. I don't know. I'm not yet to the point where I can clearly see the lesson. Still at the point where I just want to hide and cry. Having to come back to basics - who God says I am. This seems to be a recurring theme with me - struggling with my identity, my value; apparently I'm a very slow learner. Where does this come from - this feeling of being unaccepted? My poor husband doesn't know what to do with me, when every time he comes home, he finds me crying. So, just putting it out there - kind of a warning to those that may be unfortunate enough to cross my path right now.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. Hopefully this season will pass before too long. In the meantime, I'm here for you regardless, just as you have been there for me countless times. You're in my prayers, Bets. Love ya.
Anita

Christelle Joy said...

aw bets. i love you. i feel the same way a lot. well pretty much my entire christian life. just struggling with my identity and feeling like no one loves me for who i am. even though i don't even really know who i really am. "feeling like you don't belong" like laura put it at kate birthday. or feeling like im loved by others out of obligation not choice. im not really sure how to encourage in this because its very much still an ongoing issue for me also. but just know that you are loved and you do belong and everyone around you thinks you're wonderful and you're such a blessing to so many. and i mean man talk about someone who uses their gifts! you have so many and you aren't afraid to use them! thats so cool. i wish i had the boldness to do that.

anyway, just keep going back to god and listening to truth. don't let satan's lies have any root.
love ya

Laura said...

maybe i need to bring YOU chocolate... since chocolate fixes everything and all :)

Are you coming to the tea on Saturday or don't you have a sitter?

i love you!

Aunt Linda said...

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. You know that doesn't come from the Lord. Have you ever read the book "The Shack" by Wm. Paul Young? It's a novel, but it gave me insight into God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. I know you don't have much spare time for reading, but I strongly suggest this book.

Love you!