Saturday, March 1, 2008

My poor baby!



So, last night, we were at Jessi's for dinner, and the kids had finished eating and went downstairs to play. Eva wanted to be with them, so Anna agreed to take her down while I finished eating. After a few minutes, apparently Anna needed to use the bathroom and didn't think about Eva's newfound interest in the stairs. From upstairs we heard some bumping and then screaming, so we run to find that Eva had climbed up several steps and fell off the side of the stairs. IT FREAKED ME OUT!!! She cried for several minutes, holding her head funny and the whole side of her face, head and ear were bright red. After a little bit, she settled, I checked to see if her eyes dilated normally, and we tried to put a cold-pack on her head. She dozed off on my shoulder for a little while, but would wake up and be irritated if you touched the side of her head. Later we gave her some Tylenol, and she seemed fine, crawling around, pulling up, sitting playing with toys. She had a rough night because she couldn't lay on that side of her head it was so tender. Today, she woke up with such a swollen head that her ear actually seems displaced and sticks out like an elf. It absolutely breaks my heart every time I look at her! I did talk to the dr, and he reassured me that it'll take a couple days for the swelling to go away, and as long as her behaviour is normal, she's fine. It helped ease my mind some....

But I'm feeling really torn up about the whole episode. I'm struggling with fear of what they'd say if I had to take her to the hospital ~ I don't want someone thinking I'm neglecting my baby! And yet, was I neglecting my baby, asking a 7 year old to watch her while I finished eating? Is this an indication that I have my hands full and shouldn't have more babies, though my heart feels like there's at least one more space to be filled in my family? And I'm beating myself up over my pride, because I've always thought my children are especially beautiful, and now I'm worried because my daughter's head is lopsided... And I'm sensitive to what people say about "Eva giving me a hard time" because of the health issues related to my pregnancy and her life thus far; I don't want curses spoken over her about her being a difficult child, or an unhealthy child. This seemingly minor episode has certainly turned over a bunch of stuff for me to deal with... I think I may need my "foundations restored"....

2 comments:

Laura said...

yeah, i would say you have nothing to worry about- you weren't neglecting her, she is beautiful, and I would consider her health problems thus far an attack on her precious life, not an indication of her future... however, I know that hearing that you shouldn't worry is less than effective when you need some RTFing. I love you :)

The Mayor said...

I hope everything is okay! I hate it when injuries happen...